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1000awesomethings_feed
It’s like teleporting.
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
The post #680 Falling asleep when the plane takes off and waking up when it lands appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
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AWESOME!
Photo from: here, here, and here
The post #681 Realizing that you’re going to be in the background of someone’s picture and smiling at the last second appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
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This allows you to work extra hard in a quiet setting and get your projects done very quickly.
Or just leave early, too.
AWESOME!
Photos from: here
The post #682 When your boss leaves early for the day appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
mimi_smartypants_feedSOME THINGS I THINK ABOUT TOO MUCH
The Guidonian hand, and medieval music theory in general.
The history of wearing fruit on your head. The fact that something was lost when the Chiquita banana logo became a lady and not an actual banana. A similar sadness to the Miami Dolphins removing the football helmet from the dolphin on their logo. That dolphin is going to get CTE, you fucks!
Also football-related: the felony of former NFL star Pac-Man Jones, which is not funny (someone was shot), but is also a little funny because of how it started. Reportedly Pac-Man was making it rain at a strip club and then got mad because the dancers were keeping the money. Like he thought it was all for show or something, and that when you threw cash at dancers they politely returned it after the dance.
The proliferation of “horse bands.” Without even trying, here is a list and I’m sure there are more (most of these can loosely be classified as indie rock)
RECENTLY
We did our Mother’s Day on Saturday because my tradition is a Chicago hot dog and french fries and my favorite stand is not open on Sundays. I actually ate TWO hot dogs, but we don’t need to publicize that fact. I got a new orchid from LT and a cute bonsai tree from Aaron, and then LT spent the actual Sunday putting in our herb garden so it was a very plant-focused weekend. I personally spent the actual Sunday with as little “productivity” as possible—I read an entire book, wrote and mailed a letter, and watched most of season 2 of Beef.
Every time I watch movies or television that involve relationship drama I discover new dealbreakers/lines in the sand that I did not even know I had. It is not really a spoiler to tell you that if my girlfriend got jealous about nothing and threw herself out of a moving car I would break up with her in the emergency room. I would not spend hours in the emergency room catering to her every demand.
(I know, I know: fictional situations can be illustrative of fictional relationships and you don’t have to apply them to your own life. It can be hard not to, though.)
THINGS I HAVE GOOGLED TODAY
—mimi smartypants is secluded in a marker stone.
1000awesomethings_feed
Scope this scene.
End of the meal at the back of a dimly lit restaurant, your belly bursting with bowls of bread, free soda refills, sugary salad, and half a giant stir-fry, you’re thinking twice about the waiter’s offer to wrap up your meal. After all, the thought of one more forkful of soy-sauce drenched snow peas makes you gag and the image of lugging a drippy Styrofoam container to the movies ain’t appealing.
But there’s peer pressure.
Somebody chimes in with a “Oh come on, get it to go, you’ve got like half your meal left” and another helpfully adds “Think about it, you’ll probably eat it later tonight. Better than bar food.”
So you look around the table and quietly burp into your mouth before nodding to the waiter with a reluctant half-smile. And then you drag that doggie-bag around town and toss it in your fridge before bed, completely forgetting about it until you groggily look for breakfast the next morning.
When you peel open your fridge door the Styrofoam container is just beaming back at you like a treasure chest full of gold at the bottom of the ocean.
“Hello,” it seems to say. “I’ve been waiting.”
Your pupils dilate, your mouth starts watering, and you swipe a fork for a delicious cold and salty wake up call.
AWESOME!
Photos from: here
The post #683 Finding a Styrofoam container from last night’s restaurant dinner in your fridge appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
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Do you ever see kids on the playground with their bike helmets on?
Sometimes you spot them riding up to the sandy lots with heads full of steam and eyes staring forward with steely determination. They are on a mission to get some playing in, buddy. And nothing’s going to get in their way.
Nope, not even pausing for a minute to unclasp their bike helmet. Are you kidding? They are in such a rush that they bail on the bike, run across the sand, and jump on the jungle gym with their helmet bobbing all over the place in one majestic, sweeping move.
Good times.
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
The post #684 Being so excited you forget to take your bike helmet off appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
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Coming out of the subway, heading to the airport gates, or moseying back to the office after lunch, you occasionally walk with a friend and hit this classic fork in the road. On the right is a smooth-moving escalator with a bit of traffic and on the left is a wide-open set of stairs.
As your friend continues chatting and takes the first step onto the escalator, you cut off the conversation and leap onto the stairs.
Now the race is on.
Jump up those stairs, take them two at a time, do what you need to do, just chase the racing bunny that is your friend’s smooth-moving head all the way up. And if your buddy starts walking up the escalator, make no mistake: They are cheating. And if they hit a wall of tourists taking pictures or a family with a smuggled stroller gumming up the lanes, make no mistake: They knew the risks.
If you beat them to the top, it’s time to celebrate by taking gasping, wheezy breaths while grabbing your sides and wiping the sweat off your brow.
Congratulations, friend.
You just burned a calorie.
AWESOME!
The post #685 Taking the stairs beside somebody taking the escalator appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
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OMG.
AWESOME!
Photos from: here
The post #686 When you open your cell phone and there are a bunch of text messages waiting appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
1000awesomethings_feedHey, it’s not like you can play outside, go swimming, ride your bike, or walk to the store. So just flick off the lights, yank open the blinds, and stare out the window at the majestic streaks of bright lightning cracking down all around you.
AWESOME!
Photo from: here
The post #687 Turning off all the lights during a thunderstorm appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
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When I was six I rode in the front seat of a toboggan that ended up losing control and steering sideways into a barbed wire fence. My forehead shredded, hot tears racing down my cheeks, I learned at that moment that things can unravel real quick on those steep, snow covered hills.
Yes, a rocky start and some poor weight distribution push the toboggan hard into the slick and slippery snow which sprays sharp ice chunks into your eyes and ears. Things get swervy when your buddy jumps off the back which causes you to completely lose control and gain speed just in time to notice the creek bed coming up quick in front of you.
You have no choice at this point. Even though it means hitting the ground hard, twisting your ankle, and possibly rolling down half the hill, you just gotta do it.
Bail for the moment. Bail for the memories.
And bail for your life.
AWESOME!
The post #688 Bailing on a toboggan appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
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Close door people, we see you.
Don’t pretend you don’t know what we’re talking about. We see you duck into the elevator twenty steps before us in the lobby and tap-tap-tap that Close Door button so you can score a slightly faster ride. What, you think we don’t notice your attempts to avoid eye contact? Oh, we do, and we don’t like you for it, either.
No, the people we like are a different sort of people. They’re Open Door people. They’re the ones with the bruises on their forearms, tapping the Open button, and popping their head out to ask innocently “Going up?”
Why yes, we are going up. Why yes, we would love to share the lift with you. Why yes, we’ll smile and thank you for holding it. And why yes, we’ll keep it open when we see you coming the next time, too.
Now let’s all hug and chug-a-lug home.
AWESOME!
The post #689 When somebody holds the elevator door for you appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
1000awesomethings_feed - #680 Falling asleep when the plane takes off and waking up when it lands1000awesomethings_feed - #681 Realizing that you’re going to be in the background of someone’s picture and smiling at the las1000awesomethings_feed - #682 When your boss leaves early for the daymimi_smartypants_feed - city through a window1000awesomethings_feed - #683 Finding a Styrofoam container from last night’s restaurant dinner in your fridge1000awesomethings_feed - #684 Being so excited you forget to take your bike helmet off1000awesomethings_feed - #685 Taking the stairs beside somebody taking the escalator1000awesomethings_feed - #686 When you open your cell phone and there are a bunch of text messages waiting1000awesomethings_feed - #687 Turning off all the lights during a thunderstorm1000awesomethings_feed - #688 Bailing on a toboggan1000awesomethings_feed - #689 When somebody holds the elevator door for you![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}